I got a job!
I am the new Assistant Band Director for a 3A district in a town about 25 miles west of where I live. A mere 35-minute commute on a rural highway and I'm there!
My official title is 6th Grade Band Coordinator and Woodwind Specialist, though I work with all levels of students: 6th through 12 grade; beginning, middle, and high school concert and marching bands! I'm part of a three man team. The head high school director is a brass player and the other assistant director does middle school and coordinates percussion. I really like these guys and I think we will have some great chemistry when working together. I'm happy with the fact that everybody does everything - we all teach beginner classes as well as conduct ensembles.
I have to go to "work" now, meaning student teaching, so I'll update with more details when I know them! Thanks for your prayers and support this semester. My search that began in January is now over! Yay!
Showing posts with label update. Show all posts
Showing posts with label update. Show all posts
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Monday, February 18, 2008
Reflections 1/26 - 2/13
LMS Solo & Ensemble Festival 1/26
It was a very good experience learning about how these festivals are organized and done. Every student in band, grades 6-8 were required to participate (about 275 students), though many of them did not wish to and some did not show up. In general, I was impressed with how well it was organized and with the level of preparation that some students exhibited. There was an extremely high level of director control over the festival which caused a lot of stress on our part. It was decided that each student pay $7 to participate, that we know which solo each person is playing, if they have conflicts that day, that we provide their copies and accompaniment parts, as well as organize accompaniment rehearsals (for those who didn't play with a CD), and payment. We also catered in the food for the high school volunteers and judges and set everything up. This was no easy task and there was constant difficulty trying to get students to cooperate - especially the ones who didn't want to play in the first place. In general, I thought there was too much director responsibility and not enough student ownership.
LHS Symphonic Band
This class is going better. I gave them a scale test two weeks ago on a Wednesday and Friday. I did this because I wanted to hear them play individually, assign parts and chairs, and to know their scales because that is a normal part of our daily routine. They were to prepare six major scales (Bb Eb Ab F C G) in all-region audition format and I picked two for them to play individually in front of Mr. H, the head high school director, and I. They were to pick a comfortable tempo that promoted accuracy. It went badly. These were scales that they apparently should have known since 8th grade, but many of them didn't. A couple of students cried during their test and it made both of us feel uneasy. We didn't grade too low, and only a couple of students received Cs. The following Monday, I led a discussion about the importance of performing solo, learning how to deal with performance anxiety, practice techniques, and the importance of scales. This discussion lasted 25 minutes and I think it made a difference. Students argued that they should never have to perform alone and that is why they signed up for band. I did my best to give them real life examples of why they would need these skills but some weren't convinced.
I think the biggest thing that I am learning from this class is that students will always take the path of least resistance. My job as a teacher is to be the resistance. I'm finding that difficult when I am alone in a room full of people who don't believe as I do, and I realize that it takes a great deal of confidence in what I believe is right to convince them to see it my way. After all, they do not know what I know and have little ground on which to argue with me. It feels different and slightly uncomfortable to insist on what I think is right without anyone telling me to do it. I must grow up and consistently be the adult in the room.
Otherwise, I feel good about the daily routine that I have in place: Breathing (in 4 out 4, in 2 out 6, in 1 out 8); Foundations for Band (Williams & King), F long tone #1a & 1b, warm-up set 1 (options 3, 4, 5); Bb major chord articulation exercise (H); major scales (Bb Eb Ab F C G) with different rhythms; and tuning - concert A and Bb. We then have announcements in the middle of rehearsal so they are paying attention and ready to listen. There is usually 25 minutes left over for repertoire after the daily routine. I am working on getting them a march to play and will introduce two other pieces in the next couple of weeks for teaching purposes.
My rehearsal technique is generally going in the right direction. I am learning how to isolate textures and make changes, but I don't isolate things enough to understand exactly what is going wrong. Sometimes, I forget to put the isolated part back in the context of the music so that I can clearly hear the change or improvement made. I am reluctant to go back when the band does not play consistently because I do not enjoy going back for people who make mental errors because their focus is bad. This is something that I absolutely need to do, though, because otherwise I am communicating that it is ok to make mental errors and not pay attention. It is not ok. If I don't insist on this, no one will.
Lastly, I could improve the way I speak to the ensemble. I too often give directions in the form of a question: "Trumpets, could you start at 8?" instead of "Trumpets, start at 8" or "Are you playing F#?" instead of "You played F-natural. It should be F#." I also need to work on questioning them more instead of telling them. This will help them to think critically about their playing instead of relying on me to fix their errors.
Beginning Trumpet Class
This is my best-behaved, most focused class. I gave them their first test two Thursdays ago on their C and Bb scales from page 40 & 41 of Essential Elements. I am not confident that some of them understand how to practice these, though I went over it many times during class. We started pass-offs which involve each student playing through 20 different tunes from Essential Elements that they must play nearly perfectly to get credit. If they pass all 20 by the end of the semester, they get to go to Sandy Lake to perform and play in the park on May 6th. We will spend most Fridays taking time to do this, since F.M. is doing that with her beginning classes.
My issues here are three-fold: (1) I do not isolate groups or individuals enough to tell if they are understanding and playing correctly, (2) I struggle to insist that they both focus and do it right the first time, and (3) I am not patient enough to go at a slow enough tempo where everyone can play it without error.
Beginning Clarinet Class
I have the same issues teaching this class as with the trumpet class. There are a couple of special cases which I am not sure how to deal with. One student in the class has some kind of spur or wrist problem and can not hold the clarinet. Another person has no working reeds and insists that her mother does not have money to buy one. She has a major attitude problem and is probably failing many of her classes. The school has provided her with at least four reeds and she has not paid for them, but F.M. will not give her any more. These two students are friends and become very disruptive. I am struggling to give them enough to do and they often become bored and disruptive. It seems that the other teachers don't know what to do with them either. They have a deal with the directors that if they mind their own business and be quiet, they don't get in trouble. They will get by with Cs.
Anyway, I am never sure what to do with students who do not bring their instruments or books to class. I usually instruct them to follow along, fingering and singing, and let them know that their participation grade is lower as a result.
Miscellaneous
I am starting to get over the culture shock of being a teacher and being in this environment. It is tempting to get settled into a routine and stop striving to learn and try new things. I need to get more in the habit of asking for feedback from my cooperating teachers, because they almost never offer it. They tend to be very busy and overwhelmed with their jobs and I let that get in the way of getting feedback. Most of the time, I can not tell if I am doing well or badly. I tend to record the audio of many of my teaching sessions and that has been one of the only ways knowing how to improve. This is the most frustrating part about student teaching at the moment. Thanks for reading.
It was a very good experience learning about how these festivals are organized and done. Every student in band, grades 6-8 were required to participate (about 275 students), though many of them did not wish to and some did not show up. In general, I was impressed with how well it was organized and with the level of preparation that some students exhibited. There was an extremely high level of director control over the festival which caused a lot of stress on our part. It was decided that each student pay $7 to participate, that we know which solo each person is playing, if they have conflicts that day, that we provide their copies and accompaniment parts, as well as organize accompaniment rehearsals (for those who didn't play with a CD), and payment. We also catered in the food for the high school volunteers and judges and set everything up. This was no easy task and there was constant difficulty trying to get students to cooperate - especially the ones who didn't want to play in the first place. In general, I thought there was too much director responsibility and not enough student ownership.
LHS Symphonic Band
This class is going better. I gave them a scale test two weeks ago on a Wednesday and Friday. I did this because I wanted to hear them play individually, assign parts and chairs, and to know their scales because that is a normal part of our daily routine. They were to prepare six major scales (Bb Eb Ab F C G) in all-region audition format and I picked two for them to play individually in front of Mr. H, the head high school director, and I. They were to pick a comfortable tempo that promoted accuracy. It went badly. These were scales that they apparently should have known since 8th grade, but many of them didn't. A couple of students cried during their test and it made both of us feel uneasy. We didn't grade too low, and only a couple of students received Cs. The following Monday, I led a discussion about the importance of performing solo, learning how to deal with performance anxiety, practice techniques, and the importance of scales. This discussion lasted 25 minutes and I think it made a difference. Students argued that they should never have to perform alone and that is why they signed up for band. I did my best to give them real life examples of why they would need these skills but some weren't convinced.
I think the biggest thing that I am learning from this class is that students will always take the path of least resistance. My job as a teacher is to be the resistance. I'm finding that difficult when I am alone in a room full of people who don't believe as I do, and I realize that it takes a great deal of confidence in what I believe is right to convince them to see it my way. After all, they do not know what I know and have little ground on which to argue with me. It feels different and slightly uncomfortable to insist on what I think is right without anyone telling me to do it. I must grow up and consistently be the adult in the room.
Otherwise, I feel good about the daily routine that I have in place: Breathing (in 4 out 4, in 2 out 6, in 1 out 8); Foundations for Band (Williams & King), F long tone #1a & 1b, warm-up set 1 (options 3, 4, 5); Bb major chord articulation exercise (H); major scales (Bb Eb Ab F C G) with different rhythms; and tuning - concert A and Bb. We then have announcements in the middle of rehearsal so they are paying attention and ready to listen. There is usually 25 minutes left over for repertoire after the daily routine. I am working on getting them a march to play and will introduce two other pieces in the next couple of weeks for teaching purposes.
My rehearsal technique is generally going in the right direction. I am learning how to isolate textures and make changes, but I don't isolate things enough to understand exactly what is going wrong. Sometimes, I forget to put the isolated part back in the context of the music so that I can clearly hear the change or improvement made. I am reluctant to go back when the band does not play consistently because I do not enjoy going back for people who make mental errors because their focus is bad. This is something that I absolutely need to do, though, because otherwise I am communicating that it is ok to make mental errors and not pay attention. It is not ok. If I don't insist on this, no one will.
Lastly, I could improve the way I speak to the ensemble. I too often give directions in the form of a question: "Trumpets, could you start at 8?" instead of "Trumpets, start at 8" or "Are you playing F#?" instead of "You played F-natural. It should be F#." I also need to work on questioning them more instead of telling them. This will help them to think critically about their playing instead of relying on me to fix their errors.
Beginning Trumpet Class
This is my best-behaved, most focused class. I gave them their first test two Thursdays ago on their C and Bb scales from page 40 & 41 of Essential Elements. I am not confident that some of them understand how to practice these, though I went over it many times during class. We started pass-offs which involve each student playing through 20 different tunes from Essential Elements that they must play nearly perfectly to get credit. If they pass all 20 by the end of the semester, they get to go to Sandy Lake to perform and play in the park on May 6th. We will spend most Fridays taking time to do this, since F.M. is doing that with her beginning classes.
My issues here are three-fold: (1) I do not isolate groups or individuals enough to tell if they are understanding and playing correctly, (2) I struggle to insist that they both focus and do it right the first time, and (3) I am not patient enough to go at a slow enough tempo where everyone can play it without error.
Beginning Clarinet Class
I have the same issues teaching this class as with the trumpet class. There are a couple of special cases which I am not sure how to deal with. One student in the class has some kind of spur or wrist problem and can not hold the clarinet. Another person has no working reeds and insists that her mother does not have money to buy one. She has a major attitude problem and is probably failing many of her classes. The school has provided her with at least four reeds and she has not paid for them, but F.M. will not give her any more. These two students are friends and become very disruptive. I am struggling to give them enough to do and they often become bored and disruptive. It seems that the other teachers don't know what to do with them either. They have a deal with the directors that if they mind their own business and be quiet, they don't get in trouble. They will get by with Cs.
Anyway, I am never sure what to do with students who do not bring their instruments or books to class. I usually instruct them to follow along, fingering and singing, and let them know that their participation grade is lower as a result.
Miscellaneous
I am starting to get over the culture shock of being a teacher and being in this environment. It is tempting to get settled into a routine and stop striving to learn and try new things. I need to get more in the habit of asking for feedback from my cooperating teachers, because they almost never offer it. They tend to be very busy and overwhelmed with their jobs and I let that get in the way of getting feedback. Most of the time, I can not tell if I am doing well or badly. I tend to record the audio of many of my teaching sessions and that has been one of the only ways knowing how to improve. This is the most frustrating part about student teaching at the moment. Thanks for reading.
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Reflections 1/03 - 1/25
I am in a busy season of my life again. I'm student teaching and I barely have enough time to write my required weekly reflections on it to send to my supervising professor. I think I'll start posting them here so you have at least some idea of what's going on with me. I've changed or abbreviated some names to protect the innocent.
LHS Symphonic Band
LHS Symphonic Band
At Lake High School, the two bands meet four days per week: 3 days have 45 minute rehearsals and one day has an 1 1/2 hour rehearsal. The honor band (top group) meets 1st period and the symphonic band meets second period. I was placed in charge of this group on day 2 (Jan. 4), even though their semester would end in 2 weeks and some of the instrumentation would change. When I was placed in charge, I had no advance notice from W.H., the head director. I warmed them up and we sight read some chorales.
Since then, I have been responsible for going through the library and selecting repertoire for them, leading the rehearsals, doing the grading, organizing auditions, scale tests, and copying parts. The plan originally was for the honor band to compete at UIL and in Corpus Christi (spring band trip) and for the members of the 2nd band to simply come along, but the parents complained, so now the Symphonic Band will compete in Corpus Christi with me as their sole conductor. I feel really privilaged to get this opportunity as a student teacher.
There are a number of challenges with this group, though. First, the instrumentation is extremely unbalanced: there are 13 flutes, 12 saxophones, 1 clarinet, and 1 horn, 1 tuba and no bassoon players. Other sections have enough players, though most of these students are not on private lessons. I was told that this group was unmotivated, that they don't really care, and that I would need to keep them busy in order to avoid major behavior problems. I was told that they sounded worse than both middle school bands and that is why they would never go to contest. W mentioned that their other teachers have very low expectations of them and that many of them do nothing in class every day. It is my opinion that both directors have given up on these kids. They do not trust them with anything, it seems. This was a pretty intimidating situation to walk into.
In general, I feel prepared to lead rehearsals and did a fairly good job of planning. The first 1 1/2 hour class (3rd day total), I only had 45 minutes of rehearsal planned, but this past week I was able to fill the entire time. I selected two grade 2 pieces for them so far and we've been rehearsing them the last two weeks. I hope for them to have at least six pieces by the middle of February, though we will only compete with three. I've added a warm-up routine that includes 1 minute of breathing exercises, 3-4 minutes of exercises from Foundations for Band (Williams & King), as well as six major scales. All of the bands here are dependent on using the loud speaker metronome for almost everything, though I would like to get away from doing that as much. I find that using the metronome relieves my responsibilities quite a bit and I could see it as a way of being lazy in the future both on my part and the part of the students.
Otherwise, I have felt a bit nervous on the podium until this Friday, when I was able to relax a bit more and even smile. I often trip over myself when talking and it would help if I talked a bit more slowly and took time to think about my comments before speaking them.
LMS Beginning Trumpet & Beginning Clarinet class
By the second week, I was in charge of these classes at Lake Middle School. Trumpets meet 6th period (1:30) and Clarinets meet right after during 7th (2:19). They have just finished their Solo & Ensemble contest and will be working to finish the Essential Elements book this semester.
They have a history of being very fidgety and talkative, and asking too many irrelevant questions. I laid down my behavior policy and I think that it is going to really help them. It involves several rules, put in positive terms (do's instead of don'ts) and a list of things that will happen when they break rules. I don't think this was clear last semester and there were no direct consequences for bad behavior. This seems necessary for a class of 20-25 beginning 6th graders. Things have been better since, though some students simply do not want to be there, so they often distract others purposely by making odd noises on their instruments or by talking.
I have already given the Trumpet and Clarinet semester exams two Thursdays ago, which was difficult since I had not been with them for the Fall semester. They each had to play their solo in front of the class with the CD accompaniment and were graded based on a weighted rubric, using a sort of "tick system." F.M. (head middle school director) wanted me to grade easy, and most of them got As and some got Bs. This test was also to determine their chair order. I am definitely not comfortable with tests in front of the class or chair positions in beginner classes. These can create a very negative stigma that students may carry with them throughout their musical experience, should they continue after this year. Maybe it might help them practice, but I am not sure.
Sectionals
I have already lead four middle school sectionals and three high school sectionals. These have all been very positive experiences, and in general I felt more comfortable leading high school sectionals. This is where I feel most relaxed as a teacher. I am amazed at how easy it is to teach students who want to be in these sectionals versus the ones who do not. "He who has ears to hear, let him hear" seems an appropriate reference here.
Observation: HS Honor Band, HS Jazz Band, MS Honor Band, Beginning flute
The three ensembles mentioned above are some of the best bands at their level that I've heard. They are well-balanced and are full of dedicated, self-motivated students. The MS Honor Band is playing 10 major scales 2-3 octaves at the beginning of each rehearsal and playing some grade 4 music for UIL this semester, and already sounding good on it. I feel that I have a lot to learn from F.M. and T.F. this semester. I'm excited.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Simma' down, now!
Today I am blogging because I got to my first class just in time to remember that it was canceled because my professor is out of town. I have some time on my hands now. . . about 80 minutes.
It feels weird to not be rushing everywhere. I hope things are going to get a little less rushed and tense in my life soon. I gave notice to quit my job at Office Depot finally. It was a tough decision, but I had to be honest with myself and redefine my concept of what it means to be an adult. I know, I'm constantly in a philosophical crisis, right?
I'm starting my transition into professional life thinking about what it should look like to be a responsible adult, as if there were any. I got lots of messages growing up that said being an adult meant never having time, doing things because you have to, not because you want to, and working all of the time. I was taught that being successful meant making sacrifices, particularly luxuries. It seemed like the bottom line (money) was what would matter when I finally grew up. Isn't that what all of this education is for? To make more money? To amass wealth so I can pursue power, influence, happiness, life, liberty and the American Way?
I guess that is the downside to a secular education. No, I quit my job so I could have more time with Dawn and friends, schoolwork, and God. It is extremely hard to go through recovery when I'm busy all of the time. Depending on God just to make it through the day is different than asking him to heal all of my hurts, hang-ups and bad habits. It is also easier for me to have scheduled busyness all of the time than for me to try and manage my own free time. I'm afraid that I will waste it and then look lazy. Anyone else feel this way?
Nah, more and more I'm learning that being an adult means being honest, knowing my limits, having boundaries, being just as weak and screwed up as everybody else and needing a savior. I will never pull myself up by the bootstraps or be a self-made man. I will never achieve the American Dream and the pursuit of happiness is a futile one compared to the sufficiency of Christ.
It is hard having to debunk so many of the worldly messages I got growing up. Your thoughts?
It feels weird to not be rushing everywhere. I hope things are going to get a little less rushed and tense in my life soon. I gave notice to quit my job at Office Depot finally. It was a tough decision, but I had to be honest with myself and redefine my concept of what it means to be an adult. I know, I'm constantly in a philosophical crisis, right?
I'm starting my transition into professional life thinking about what it should look like to be a responsible adult, as if there were any. I got lots of messages growing up that said being an adult meant never having time, doing things because you have to, not because you want to, and working all of the time. I was taught that being successful meant making sacrifices, particularly luxuries. It seemed like the bottom line (money) was what would matter when I finally grew up. Isn't that what all of this education is for? To make more money? To amass wealth so I can pursue power, influence, happiness, life, liberty and the American Way?
I guess that is the downside to a secular education. No, I quit my job so I could have more time with Dawn and friends, schoolwork, and God. It is extremely hard to go through recovery when I'm busy all of the time. Depending on God just to make it through the day is different than asking him to heal all of my hurts, hang-ups and bad habits. It is also easier for me to have scheduled busyness all of the time than for me to try and manage my own free time. I'm afraid that I will waste it and then look lazy. Anyone else feel this way?
Nah, more and more I'm learning that being an adult means being honest, knowing my limits, having boundaries, being just as weak and screwed up as everybody else and needing a savior. I will never pull myself up by the bootstraps or be a self-made man. I will never achieve the American Dream and the pursuit of happiness is a futile one compared to the sufficiency of Christ.
It is hard having to debunk so many of the worldly messages I got growing up. Your thoughts?
Friday, September 28, 2007
crazy times
What a week. I was sick with a bad cold from last Thursday to this past Wednesday. I missed a day of work as well as some class in order to see a doctor on Monday. The doctor was running about 45 minutes behind schedule and in a hurry, so I never got to know exactly what was wrong with me; just that I needed antibiotics. Two of them. And a steroid. I love it when they ask, "You're not opposed to shots, are you?" Now, my answer is, "only when they make me want to vomit immediately after you give them to me and then proceed to make me feel very, very cold."
Things are happening so fast around here that I don't feel like I've had the time to process everything that I've been through or the things I'm learning. I'm dressing up on Tuesdays and Thursdays to drive fifteen minutes north to a middle school in a small town where I am playing with the 7th and 8th grade bands on a secondary instrument. Right now it's alto saxophone. I'm taking turns with my class to lead some warm-ups, teach some pep band music, teach some mini lessons, and assess their proficiency on scales (mainly C, Bb, F, and Eb as well as chromatic). Some of these kids can really play--I was impressed. Texas is amazing. Is whole other country.
My career as a music teacher is starting to become a reality and I'm feeling a bit nervous about it. I met with Dr. Ramsey who is in charge of student teaching about my placement for the spring on Wednesday. The result is that I'll probably student teach in a rural town at a high school and middle school. These schools are class 2A or 3A, though a 3A band in Texas is like a 4A or 5A band in Colorado. I asked to be placed in a smaller school because I wanted to get a better idea of what it would be like to teach band outside of Texas. I want to know what it might be like to have to do a lot of the teaching and administrative stuff by myself instead of having tons of staff and money to do things, which is typical for Texas. I'm hoping for a smaller staff so that I can have more face time with my mentor(s), too.
Ok, I started this on Friday and am just now publishing it. L8r.
Things are happening so fast around here that I don't feel like I've had the time to process everything that I've been through or the things I'm learning. I'm dressing up on Tuesdays and Thursdays to drive fifteen minutes north to a middle school in a small town where I am playing with the 7th and 8th grade bands on a secondary instrument. Right now it's alto saxophone. I'm taking turns with my class to lead some warm-ups, teach some pep band music, teach some mini lessons, and assess their proficiency on scales (mainly C, Bb, F, and Eb as well as chromatic). Some of these kids can really play--I was impressed. Texas is amazing. Is whole other country.
My career as a music teacher is starting to become a reality and I'm feeling a bit nervous about it. I met with Dr. Ramsey who is in charge of student teaching about my placement for the spring on Wednesday. The result is that I'll probably student teach in a rural town at a high school and middle school. These schools are class 2A or 3A, though a 3A band in Texas is like a 4A or 5A band in Colorado. I asked to be placed in a smaller school because I wanted to get a better idea of what it would be like to teach band outside of Texas. I want to know what it might be like to have to do a lot of the teaching and administrative stuff by myself instead of having tons of staff and money to do things, which is typical for Texas. I'm hoping for a smaller staff so that I can have more face time with my mentor(s), too.
Ok, I started this on Friday and am just now publishing it. L8r.
Monday, September 17, 2007
tour
Here's the video tour of our apartment, as promised. I'm sorry the audio quality is so low, you may want to turn it way down or turn your bass down at least. I hope you enjoy it!
Edit: Thanks for bearing with me. The video is no longer listed as private, so you should be able to view it now.
Monday, September 10, 2007
Friday, September 07, 2007
Biz-ee-ness
A couple of weeks ago, I decided that my computer had too strong of a hold on me and that I should take a break from it. Since then, I have gotten extremely busy, so I haven't blogged.
I wanted to take some time to reflect on busyness. I wasn't busy all summer and now I find myself almost near the end of an extremely busy period. In the last week I worked 31 hours, been in class 19 (12 credit hours, go figure), spent at least 5 hours packing, 3 hours being stranded and replacing my car battery, and several more hours practicing, doing homework, and trying to stay involved in recovery. Tomorrow Dawn and I move into a new apartment and I'm very excited. That will take time, too.
I think the difference is that, by God's grace, I've remained more present emotionally and spiritually than in any other busy time. I've started to learn how to function without having to numb out. Pretty awesome.
Otherwise, I am starting to notice a few trends; I wonder if they'll last. First, I've discovered a new diet. It's called TBD: Too Busy Diet. Dawn made the most excellent burritos the other day and, after enjoying one, I wanted seconds. But there wasn't enough time, so I had to save it for lunch the next day. Pretty effective, if you ask me. Ahem. Secondly, I realized that it takes me often as much as double the time to do things as I think it does. Having three hours of free time seems to go by really really fast now. It seems like a lot of free time, but it just slips away from me. I wonder if this means that I'm getting older; getting more perspective. I can certainly get a lot more done with the time I have, which is a big deal for me. Shame has kept me from being very efficient in the past. Maybe I'll go into detail on that some other day.
The big news is that I had my clarinet auditions a couple of weeks ago and I made it into the University of North Texas Wind Symphony, which is the top ensemble here. Last semester I was in the Symphonic Band which is the second highest, so this is an improvement. I am really excited to play in Wind Symphony and I feel really humbled and privileged to sit next to these people, many of whom will win professional orchestra, band, teaching, and solo gigs in the next couple years. Hell, I'm just doing it for fun. I don't really have a desire to be at the top, I just want to have fun and enjoy playing clarinet. Or maybe that's just what I tell myself so that I don't feel totally intimidated when I walk into rehearsal. ;-)
Wish us luck on our move. Next time you see me, I'll be writing from another IP address!
I wanted to take some time to reflect on busyness. I wasn't busy all summer and now I find myself almost near the end of an extremely busy period. In the last week I worked 31 hours, been in class 19 (12 credit hours, go figure), spent at least 5 hours packing, 3 hours being stranded and replacing my car battery, and several more hours practicing, doing homework, and trying to stay involved in recovery. Tomorrow Dawn and I move into a new apartment and I'm very excited. That will take time, too.
I think the difference is that, by God's grace, I've remained more present emotionally and spiritually than in any other busy time. I've started to learn how to function without having to numb out. Pretty awesome.
Otherwise, I am starting to notice a few trends; I wonder if they'll last. First, I've discovered a new diet. It's called TBD: Too Busy Diet. Dawn made the most excellent burritos the other day and, after enjoying one, I wanted seconds. But there wasn't enough time, so I had to save it for lunch the next day. Pretty effective, if you ask me. Ahem. Secondly, I realized that it takes me often as much as double the time to do things as I think it does. Having three hours of free time seems to go by really really fast now. It seems like a lot of free time, but it just slips away from me. I wonder if this means that I'm getting older; getting more perspective. I can certainly get a lot more done with the time I have, which is a big deal for me. Shame has kept me from being very efficient in the past. Maybe I'll go into detail on that some other day.
The big news is that I had my clarinet auditions a couple of weeks ago and I made it into the University of North Texas Wind Symphony, which is the top ensemble here. Last semester I was in the Symphonic Band which is the second highest, so this is an improvement. I am really excited to play in Wind Symphony and I feel really humbled and privileged to sit next to these people, many of whom will win professional orchestra, band, teaching, and solo gigs in the next couple years. Hell, I'm just doing it for fun. I don't really have a desire to be at the top, I just want to have fun and enjoy playing clarinet. Or maybe that's just what I tell myself so that I don't feel totally intimidated when I walk into rehearsal. ;-)
Wish us luck on our move. Next time you see me, I'll be writing from another IP address!
Sunday, August 12, 2007
101 degrees
It's heating up here in Texas and it doesn't look to cool down for a while. I'm sure there are many other significant things on my mind that I could be talking about instead, but there you have it.
I'm not riding my bike to work this week because last week I rode it while it was 96 degrees and 60% humidity (103 heat index) and I felt dizzy for a good 1/2 hour after I got home. And mind you, it was only a 10 minute ride. A crazy woman came into Office Depot the other day and told me that riding your bike to work is in vogue. I definitely felt in vogue with sweat coming from places I didn't know I could sweat.I'm sure I've told most of you by phone, but for those whom I haven't: Dawn got a job! Dawn has been looking for different jobs for the last couple of years, and finding this job took 3 full months. She'll be starting work as a Service Representative at the Social Security Administration office on the 20th. She'll be working about a block away from Office Depot, where I work. It is a full-time, permanent position with great benefits that she will probably get to keep for a while as she attends graduate school at night. We're transitioning from that period where we had free time but no money to having money and no free time. Yay!?
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
A year in Texas
Today marks one full year since we moved to Texas. It was a Monday morning that we moved in, and by 8:30 it was already 85 degrees f outside. We were quite shell-shocked with our new marriage, coming down off our honeymoon, and trying to navigate an unfamiliar city where we knew no one and felt as though we were in an alien country. We had no jobs and lived off of our wedding money and Target Gift Cards for months. 
Dawn was looking for work as a teacher and had no idea how impossible that would be and how she would end up a UNT Masters in Counseling Student instead.
I thought that I would never find a church that I'd enjoy or friends who would last. I also had no idea what it would take to get my teacher certification and finish my masters or how much it would cost. I thought I knew a lot about marriage and that I would be extremely good at it. I considered myself an open and honest person who always dealt with problems head-on. I just had no clue.
This was one of the hardest, most stressful years of my life so far, but it has also been a time of great change, healing, and getting to see God work in our hearts in many ways. I am very thankful to be with Dawn and I wouldn't be anywhere today if it weren't for her and her solid faith in Christ. I love you, Dawn.
Otherwise, we had lots of fun in San Antonio for our anniversary. All of the pictures posted are from that trip from two weekends ago. I finally made it further south in Texas than downtown Dallas! We stayed on the Riverwalk and got to have lots of great food, shopping, tour the Alamo, and go to Sea World, too. Now it's back to work last week and this week. My part-time job at Office Depot is a full time one for the next several weeks while our sales skyrocket from back to school shopping, so I'm finding myself as busy as ever. Time to go pick up the laundry. C'ya soon!
Dawn was looking for work as a teacher and had no idea how impossible that would be and how she would end up a UNT Masters in Counseling Student instead.I thought that I would never find a church that I'd enjoy or friends who would last. I also had no idea what it would take to get my teacher certification and finish my masters or how much it would cost. I thought I knew a lot about marriage and that I would be extremely good at it. I considered myself an open and honest person who always dealt with problems head-on. I just had no clue.
This was one of the hardest, most stressful years of my life so far, but it has also been a time of great change, healing, and getting to see God work in our hearts in many ways. I am very thankful to be with Dawn and I wouldn't be anywhere today if it weren't for her and her solid faith in Christ. I love you, Dawn.
Otherwise, we had lots of fun in San Antonio for our anniversary. All of the pictures posted are from that trip from two weekends ago. I finally made it further south in Texas than downtown Dallas! We stayed on the Riverwalk and got to have lots of great food, shopping, tour the Alamo, and go to Sea World, too. Now it's back to work last week and this week. My part-time job at Office Depot is a full time one for the next several weeks while our sales skyrocket from back to school shopping, so I'm finding myself as busy as ever. Time to go pick up the laundry. C'ya soon!
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
hot and humid
Good morning, reader. I have a few minutes before I have to head to class, so I thought I'd say hello.
Things are going well for me at the moment. I've biked to work the last two times and its been quite an experience. It was raining every single day for the last several weeks here in Texas and now that that pattern has been broken, I feel like I'm living in a jungle. I bike just 1.3 miles over there, and in ten minutes I might as well have been rained on. I sweat that much. While it's true, I am out of shape, the heat and humidity is killing me. I biked home yesterday when the heat index was 102 degrees. I feel so tough. Yarrr. I guess it's an efficient workout because I am burning the maximum calories for the minimum workout time. :-)
I am really happy to be getting exercise and to have a fuller schedule again because I have so much energy now. I get to be around people all day (which, as a staunch extrovert, is a really good thing) and the exercise gets me moving faster. I tend to have a much higher self-esteem when I feel useful, too.
What else. . . Oh yeah, I was able to spend some time on a video conference the other night with my family. They placed their camera on the dining room table so I felt like I was sitting in the room with them. That was fantastic, except that it made me miss them even more. Lord, let me move back to where my family is where I'm not swimming in humidity. Amen.
Otherwise I haven't been spending much time on my recovery lately, which is not good. We are supposed to start our Fearless Moral Inventory and I would like to be at the point where I am journaling much more than I am. I guess that's part of adjusting to a new class and a new job.
That's all thats on my mind this morning. Today my activities include going to class, moving a friend, and going to work. Later.
Things are going well for me at the moment. I've biked to work the last two times and its been quite an experience. It was raining every single day for the last several weeks here in Texas and now that that pattern has been broken, I feel like I'm living in a jungle. I bike just 1.3 miles over there, and in ten minutes I might as well have been rained on. I sweat that much. While it's true, I am out of shape, the heat and humidity is killing me. I biked home yesterday when the heat index was 102 degrees. I feel so tough. Yarrr. I guess it's an efficient workout because I am burning the maximum calories for the minimum workout time. :-)
I am really happy to be getting exercise and to have a fuller schedule again because I have so much energy now. I get to be around people all day (which, as a staunch extrovert, is a really good thing) and the exercise gets me moving faster. I tend to have a much higher self-esteem when I feel useful, too.
What else. . . Oh yeah, I was able to spend some time on a video conference the other night with my family. They placed their camera on the dining room table so I felt like I was sitting in the room with them. That was fantastic, except that it made me miss them even more. Lord, let me move back to where my family is where I'm not swimming in humidity. Amen.Otherwise I haven't been spending much time on my recovery lately, which is not good. We are supposed to start our Fearless Moral Inventory and I would like to be at the point where I am journaling much more than I am. I guess that's part of adjusting to a new class and a new job.
That's all thats on my mind this morning. Today my activities include going to class, moving a friend, and going to work. Later.
Thursday, July 05, 2007
A quick note
I've been busy working five days a week for the first time in a while, so I'm trying to get used to it. Sorry about the lack of blog posts. I'm afraid that as I get busier, the blog will be the first thing to suffer. I have a class starting on Monday that will take up my mornings, too. Feel free to encourage me to write, though! :-)
My only points of interest lately is that I recommend that you never go outside in Texas without bug spray. 
I now have something like thirty mosquito bites on my legs...so much so that I can barely sleep at night. Bad times. Secondly, Ron Paul has gotten my attention as one of the only presidential candidates who seems to have a worthwhile foreign policy, in my opinion. Check out the video.
Thats all for now! Gotta go to work.
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
New Webcam
Here is a video I made last night that didn't work right until this morning. Enjoy!
http://www.zefrank.com/theshow
http://www.zefrank.com/theshow
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
New job
Today I start work at Office Depot. I turned in my application for them eight weeks ago and I'm finally ready to start work with them. I bought my light blue dress shirts, though I have some returns to make because I can never seem to remember my size.
I worked for Target summers and holiday seasons for five years and I'll bet technology has made what was an easy job even easier. What made the job a pain was the customers. Technology has probably made them feel like they should get everything even faster than before and made them feel even more entitled to getting what they want when they want it.
I'll probably do some cashier training today, figure out where the time clock is, get my employee discount card(!), use my employee discount card to buy stuff, and maybe figure out how the stockroom works. I also hope to get to know some co-workers and take their temperatures on what it is like to work at this Office Depot. The ones I've met so far seem happy to work there. Wish me luck.
I worked for Target summers and holiday seasons for five years and I'll bet technology has made what was an easy job even easier. What made the job a pain was the customers. Technology has probably made them feel like they should get everything even faster than before and made them feel even more entitled to getting what they want when they want it.
I'll probably do some cashier training today, figure out where the time clock is, get my employee discount card(!), use my employee discount card to buy stuff, and maybe figure out how the stockroom works. I also hope to get to know some co-workers and take their temperatures on what it is like to work at this Office Depot. The ones I've met so far seem happy to work there. Wish me luck.
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Deadbeat
Yes, I'm still obsessed with technology. Here I am playing with my mother's new laptop webcam which is something in which I would now like to invest. The laptop, too.
I don't feel much like writing, thinking, or moving this morning. I suppose I'll have to journal about why that might be. It has helped tremendously to get thoughts down on paper, because they tend to stare back at me. I can't ignore them as easily.
We were visiting the family for the past several days and it was a blast. Otherwise, I don't have much to talk about. Slanderwoman has some great posts and pictures of us while we were there, and it turns out that Phil Keaggy has a free podcast. From what I've heard so far, it is a bit cheezy, but I suppose he always has been.
I'll be back soon, when I'm done being a deadbeat.
Sunday, June 10, 2007
Developments
Music: Symphony No. 2 by Johanannes Brahms
Mood: restless
Weight: 213 lbs, v. nice
Today's activities: blog, dishes, food shopping, laundry, Law in Order: Season 1, swimming, homegroup
Things are starting to get a little more exciting around here. The Lord is stirring up a lot of crud in our lives and I can tell that he's moving. I discovered yesterday at Celebrate Recovery that part of my recovery will involve learning how to do conflict with spiritual leaders and how to own my own stuff and deal with my own pride in an appropriate way. I think I screwed it up last time by letting it fester for too long, spreading my discontentment to others and trying to rally them to my side. I can tell that God really wants me to get it right this time. The reason I know is because the leader of my Saturday morning support group is totally screwing things up and making me feel really unsafe to share. I could go on and on about what I think he's doing wrong, but I'm trying to focus on my part.
I started my journal on Wednesday at my sponsor's recommendation. I've written in it at least twice every day since. It really makes a difference in my life as far as remaining present and actually dealing with my angst. So far, my potential journal topics include goals for recovery, things that tip my scale, things I'm grateful for, opportunities afforded to me as a result of my spiritual gifts, and childhood memories. I will probably go on to take an inventory on all of my relationships as well. The whole process gives me a lot of hope.
I really love my sponsor. He's a great listener and really easy trust. He had us over for dinner on Friday night and then we went to help supervise a sweet sixteen party for the daughter of a couple in his homegroup. It was fun. I talked to him about the 12-step leader and it looks like something might be done about it.
Meanwhile, our church is absorbing a church that is actually in my city, a mere 10 minutes away, and we've already received a general invitation to pray about getting involved here. Although the thought of it is still a bit terrifying, I can't say it feels entirely repulsive like it did six months ago. I'm tired of being bitter, mistrusting and prideful, I just want God to use me.
Mood: restless
Weight: 213 lbs, v. nice
Today's activities: blog, dishes, food shopping, laundry, Law in Order: Season 1, swimming, homegroup
Things are starting to get a little more exciting around here. The Lord is stirring up a lot of crud in our lives and I can tell that he's moving. I discovered yesterday at Celebrate Recovery that part of my recovery will involve learning how to do conflict with spiritual leaders and how to own my own stuff and deal with my own pride in an appropriate way. I think I screwed it up last time by letting it fester for too long, spreading my discontentment to others and trying to rally them to my side. I can tell that God really wants me to get it right this time. The reason I know is because the leader of my Saturday morning support group is totally screwing things up and making me feel really unsafe to share. I could go on and on about what I think he's doing wrong, but I'm trying to focus on my part.
I started my journal on Wednesday at my sponsor's recommendation. I've written in it at least twice every day since. It really makes a difference in my life as far as remaining present and actually dealing with my angst. So far, my potential journal topics include goals for recovery, things that tip my scale, things I'm grateful for, opportunities afforded to me as a result of my spiritual gifts, and childhood memories. I will probably go on to take an inventory on all of my relationships as well. The whole process gives me a lot of hope.
I really love my sponsor. He's a great listener and really easy trust. He had us over for dinner on Friday night and then we went to help supervise a sweet sixteen party for the daughter of a couple in his homegroup. It was fun. I talked to him about the 12-step leader and it looks like something might be done about it.
Meanwhile, our church is absorbing a church that is actually in my city, a mere 10 minutes away, and we've already received a general invitation to pray about getting involved here. Although the thought of it is still a bit terrifying, I can't say it feels entirely repulsive like it did six months ago. I'm tired of being bitter, mistrusting and prideful, I just want God to use me.
Friday, June 01, 2007
Three Interview Day
I haven't had interviews for a while now and today I have three scheduled. I'm interviewing at La Quinta Inn ($8-11/hour) for their front desk at 10am, doing a telephone pre-screening with The Lynd Company who manages our apartments at 1:30 and another telephone pre-screening with eInstruction at 2:30 to become a tech support representative.
Meanwhile, Dawn finally got an interview today at 2:00 for a middle school language arts teacher position in McKinney - about 40 minutes away. She took it anyway, even though she knows now that teaching isn't something she truly wants. We haven't heard back from UNT about her getting into the Masters in Counseling program, and no other job opportunities have worked out yet. This should be an exciting day, though possibly very dissapointing. I'm prepared for the worst.
Meanwhile, Dawn finally got an interview today at 2:00 for a middle school language arts teacher position in McKinney - about 40 minutes away. She took it anyway, even though she knows now that teaching isn't something she truly wants. We haven't heard back from UNT about her getting into the Masters in Counseling program, and no other job opportunities have worked out yet. This should be an exciting day, though possibly very dissapointing. I'm prepared for the worst.
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
lot on my mind
Summer has been hitting me over the head lately. No commitments other than finding a job. I have unofficially been offered a part-time job at Office Depot that pays $8.50/hour. I will probably take it if, by the end of the week, nothing comes up that offers higher pay and more hours. It feels good that my work wasn't in vein, though. I started the process with Office Depot like 5 weeks ago. Money might still be an issue through the summer, so pray that God will provide and I don't have to delay my schooling.
Google Earth and its 3D Warehouse have been of great interest in the past couple weeks. They have this tool called Google SketchUp which can model almost any 3D object with little effort. The program is so intuitive and easy to use, I wish I'd had it as a kid. I might be on a totally different career path by now if that were the case. I say that because I love 3D modeling. I've always loved sketching 3D houses, castles, or other objects and I figured most modeling programs would require a class to master.
After a week of going through tutorials and learning how to use Adobe Photoshop CS again, I modeled my own apartment building.
Its pretty exciting, though a couple of the textures don't load correctly in Google Earth. I don't know exactly how to troubleshoot it, so I'll leave it as-is. It didn't take me long to realize that if my career in music education turns out to be a flop, then doing something with computers, especially building them or using software like SketchUpPhotoshop would be a lot of fun for me. I realize it is just as competitive of a career.
On the subject of technology, Dawn and I just burned our first DVD! It is pretty awesome.
With Windows Vista's DVD creator, we made our own menu with its own music, and burned four downloaded episodes from The Office: Season 3. Pretty amazing, and it saves a lot of disc space. We love The Office. It has very believable stories and characters. I'm sure that the writers created these characters from people they actually knew or their friends knew. It seems that reality is so much more funny than fantasy could ever be.
Finally, a friend of mine from church suggested that all of my thoughts and bitterness toward God might be helped if I meditate or read about Jesus. When I think of Jesus, I remember how kind and caring he is, going after the poor and oppressed and shunning the rich and self-righteous. I don't think of someone who is a control monger that wants to be Lord over every part of me. I don't think of Jesus as a man who will do what ever he wants without regard to my thoughts or feelings. I think I can love Jesus.
Google Earth and its 3D Warehouse have been of great interest in the past couple weeks. They have this tool called Google SketchUp which can model almost any 3D object with little effort. The program is so intuitive and easy to use, I wish I'd had it as a kid. I might be on a totally different career path by now if that were the case. I say that because I love 3D modeling. I've always loved sketching 3D houses, castles, or other objects and I figured most modeling programs would require a class to master.After a week of going through tutorials and learning how to use Adobe Photoshop CS again, I modeled my own apartment building.
Its pretty exciting, though a couple of the textures don't load correctly in Google Earth. I don't know exactly how to troubleshoot it, so I'll leave it as-is. It didn't take me long to realize that if my career in music education turns out to be a flop, then doing something with computers, especially building them or using software like SketchUpPhotoshop would be a lot of fun for me. I realize it is just as competitive of a career.On the subject of technology, Dawn and I just burned our first DVD! It is pretty awesome.
With Windows Vista's DVD creator, we made our own menu with its own music, and burned four downloaded episodes from The Office: Season 3. Pretty amazing, and it saves a lot of disc space. We love The Office. It has very believable stories and characters. I'm sure that the writers created these characters from people they actually knew or their friends knew. It seems that reality is so much more funny than fantasy could ever be.Finally, a friend of mine from church suggested that all of my thoughts and bitterness toward God might be helped if I meditate or read about Jesus. When I think of Jesus, I remember how kind and caring he is, going after the poor and oppressed and shunning the rich and self-righteous. I don't think of someone who is a control monger that wants to be Lord over every part of me. I don't think of Jesus as a man who will do what ever he wants without regard to my thoughts or feelings. I think I can love Jesus.
Friday, May 18, 2007
Family
Well, here I am all doped-up on dramamene on the flight back to Dallas. Last weekend I visited Springfield, Illinois via St. Louis to go to my cousin Chelsea's wedding. My dad flew in from Denver and we rented a car and drove out for a day. I have extremely cool cousins who love the Lord and turned out really great, despite my uncle who was probably not a very good father. Or older brother, for that matter. All four of them seem like genuine, honest, fun-loving, mature adults.It was because of may dad and my uncle's bad relationship that I didn't get to see my cousins very often. It is really a shame, because I think we would have gotten along very well.
I told my oldest cousin, Chad, that I would love to get to know he and his wife more and make up for some lost time in childhood. I found out that she has family in the Dallas/Ft. Worth area, so they are in town fairly often. I hope we'll get to spend some time with them again.I've admired Dawn's family because they are still quite involved in eachother's lives. There is a considerable amount of drama, but mostly they just enjoy spending time together even though they are separated by several states in some cases. When someone dies or gets married, the whole family rallies to support those affected. Right now, in fact, my parents-in-law are out in Kansas to go to Grandpa's birthday party, install new central air-conditioning systems in one sister's house, and build a deck for another sister. I think that's cool.
I've often wondered what it will be like to raise children in the same city as my parents and sister. I'm excited for when that time comes. Until then, its back to looking for a summer job.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
