Media, media, media

Today I have nothing eloquent to say. I've been working on my website, researching other ways to display media than simply uploading an .mp3 or .mov file (where it goes to another page), and otherwise enjoying lots of media that now works with our not-so-broadband internet connection (768kps). The Daily Show with Jon Stewart finally has its own website with a huge library of videos that I could spend hours and hours watching if I'm not careful. The first video listed here is one of my absolute favorites.

I also uploaded some old videos from 2006 when I played in the Marriage of Figaro and in Britten's War Requiem. The volume on the first video is pretty loud, so turn it down first.

Recording is cool

I bought the XtremeMac Micromemo recorder for my iPod. I performed in front of the 55 clarinet students at UNT on Friday and recorded my performance for you to hear if you click this link (4.5MB). You can also right-click and click "save link as..." to download it to your computer.

The recording is of Etude No. 5 of 16 Etudes Modern by Paul Jeanjean, a French composer. This piece was a challenge for me when it came to the musical interpretation because the tempo was all very flexible and the form and phrasing was not very straight forward. I tried to pace it so that the listener didn't get bored, but so that I took enough time in moments that needed it. I hope you enjoy it.

Sweet

How 'bout them Rockies, huh? I haven't been keeping track of their progress, but I heard they made it to the World Series! I'm sad that a year after I move away from Colorado, something finally gets going for them.

Anyone planning on going to the home games? I'm going to try and watch at least one game from home, assuming it is on ABC, CBS, or UPN. That is about all of the channels I get here.

Simma' down, now!

Today I am blogging because I got to my first class just in time to remember that it was canceled because my professor is out of town. I have some time on my hands now. . . about 80 minutes.

It feels weird to not be rushing everywhere. I hope things are going to get a little less rushed and tense in my life soon. I gave notice to quit my job at Office Depot finally. It was a tough decision, but I had to be honest with myself and redefine my concept of what it means to be an adult. I know, I'm constantly in a philosophical crisis, right?

I'm starting my transition into professional life thinking about what it should look like to be a responsible adult, as if there were any. I got lots of messages growing up that said being an adult meant never having time, doing things because you have to, not because you want to, and working all of the time. I was taught that being successful meant making sacrifices, particularly luxuries. It seemed like the bottom line (money) was what would matter when I finally grew up. Isn't that what all of this education is for? To make more money? To amass wealth so I can pursue power, influence, happiness, life, liberty and the American Way?

I guess that is the downside to a secular education. No, I quit my job so I could have more time with Dawn and friends, schoolwork, and God. It is extremely hard to go through recovery when I'm busy all of the time. Depending on God just to make it through the day is different than asking him to heal all of my hurts, hang-ups and bad habits. It is also easier for me to have scheduled busyness all of the time than for me to try and manage my own free time. I'm afraid that I will waste it and then look lazy. Anyone else feel this way?

Nah, more and more I'm learning that being an adult means being honest, knowing my limits, having boundaries, being just as weak and screwed up as everybody else and needing a savior. I will never pull myself up by the bootstraps or be a self-made man. I will never achieve the American Dream and the pursuit of happiness is a futile one compared to the sufficiency of Christ.

It is hard having to debunk so many of the worldly messages I got growing up. Your thoughts?

hats

I've never been a fan of hats because they've made my head look even bigger than it already is, but I think I finally found one that doesn't do that. What do ya think?

crazy times

What a week. I was sick with a bad cold from last Thursday to this past Wednesday. I missed a day of work as well as some class in order to see a doctor on Monday. The doctor was running about 45 minutes behind schedule and in a hurry, so I never got to know exactly what was wrong with me; just that I needed antibiotics. Two of them. And a steroid. I love it when they ask, "You're not opposed to shots, are you?" Now, my answer is, "only when they make me want to vomit immediately after you give them to me and then proceed to make me feel very, very cold."

Things are happening so fast around here that I don't feel like I've had the time to process everything that I've been through or the things I'm learning. I'm dressing up on Tuesdays and Thursdays to drive fifteen minutes north to a middle school in a small town where I am playing with the 7th and 8th grade bands on a secondary instrument. Right now it's alto saxophone. I'm taking turns with my class to lead some warm-ups, teach some pep band music, teach some mini lessons, and assess their proficiency on scales (mainly C, Bb, F, and Eb as well as chromatic). Some of these kids can really play--I was impressed. Texas is amazing. Is whole other country.

My career as a music teacher is starting to become a reality and I'm feeling a bit nervous about it. I met with Dr. Ramsey who is in charge of student teaching about my placement for the spring on Wednesday. The result is that I'll probably student teach in a rural town at a high school and middle school. These schools are class 2A or 3A, though a 3A band in Texas is like a 4A or 5A band in Colorado. I asked to be placed in a smaller school because I wanted to get a better idea of what it would be like to teach band outside of Texas. I want to know what it might be like to have to do a lot of the teaching and administrative stuff by myself instead of having tons of staff and money to do things, which is typical for Texas. I'm hoping for a smaller staff so that I can have more face time with my mentor(s), too.

Ok, I started this on Friday and am just now publishing it. L8r.

tour

Here's the video tour of our apartment, as promised. I'm sorry the audio quality is so low, you may want to turn it way down or turn your bass down at least. I hope you enjoy it!

Edit: Thanks for bearing with me. The video is no longer listed as private, so you should be able to view it now.

@#$%ing Verizon

Time for an old-fashioned rant.

Dawn and I recently moved to a new apartment which is about 3 miles away from our old one. We had Verizon DSL and the most basic land-lined phone service for something like $38 per month.

When it came time to move, Dawn called to have our exact service transfered to our new address, where Verizon is the exclusive telephone and internet provider. They even offer their new FiOS here, but we didn't want to pay that much.

The problem is that they not only took down the wrong address, but they didn't have the correct callback phone number, either. They finally called us on our land line just before we moved to say that the address they had didn't exist, so Dawn spent a couple hours on the phone with them trying to get the correct address. She even had the woman repeat it back correctly to her three times. It was supposed to be installed yesterday.

Mind you, we were getting calls for the previous resident here until yesterday, as well. We also could use her internet service (I think she had FiOS because I had a 2MB/s download speed on her connection). I think this might have contributed to the problem, though this woman supposedly moved out on August 31.


Anyway, I called them this morning and they determined that my phone and internet service had been cancelled because they still had the wrong address (2016 instead of 2060). I couldn't figure out why it was cancelled. Maybe the tech guy was like, "duh, there is no 2016, so they must want to cancel their service." So the tech support guy referred me to another Indian woman who referred me to a local agent who could only sign me up for new DSL service. However, I realized that if I don't have Verizon phone service, I can't actually get the DSL. If I need to order new phone service, I probably won't get to keep my old phone number! ARGH!

At this point, I have three options:

1. I could try to get my old phone number back which would involve hours on the phone and perhaps some yelling, or

2. I could cancel my newly ordered DSL service for the phone number that was cancelled and order fresh, probably FiOS. However, when I went to their website to get a quote, it said that there was existing phone service on the address that I gave them. Bloody hell.

3. I could wait a couple of days to see if my phone magically starts working, and then wait until the 25th for my "new" DSL service to be activated.

Did I mention that the tech support hold music is the most annoying elevator music imaginable?

@#$%ing Verizon.

OMG new apt

Biz-ee-ness

A couple of weeks ago, I decided that my computer had too strong of a hold on me and that I should take a break from it. Since then, I have gotten extremely busy, so I haven't blogged.

I wanted to take some time to reflect on busyness. I wasn't busy all summer and now I find myself almost near the end of an extremely busy period. In the last week I worked 31 hours, been in class 19 (12 credit hours, go figure), spent at least 5 hours packing, 3 hours being stranded and replacing my car battery, and several more hours practicing, doing homework, and trying to stay involved in recovery. Tomorrow Dawn and I move into a new apartment and I'm very excited. That will take time, too.

I think the difference is that, by God's grace, I've remained more present emotionally and spiritually than in any other busy time. I've started to learn how to function without having to numb out. Pretty awesome.

Otherwise, I am starting to notice a few trends; I wonder if they'll last. First, I've discovered a new diet. It's called TBD: Too Busy Diet. Dawn made the most excellent burritos the other day and, after enjoying one, I wanted seconds. But there wasn't enough time, so I had to save it for lunch the next day. Pretty effective, if you ask me. Ahem. Secondly, I realized that it takes me often as much as double the time to do things as I think it does. Having three hours of free time seems to go by really really fast now. It seems like a lot of free time, but it just slips away from me. I wonder if this means that I'm getting older; getting more perspective. I can certainly get a lot more done with the time I have, which is a big deal for me. Shame has kept me from being very efficient in the past. Maybe I'll go into detail on that some other day.

The big news is that I had my clarinet auditions a couple of weeks ago and I made it into the University of North Texas Wind Symphony, which is the top ensemble here. Last semester I was in the Symphonic Band which is the second highest, so this is an improvement. I am really excited to play in Wind Symphony and I feel really humbled and privileged to sit next to these people, many of whom will win professional orchestra, band, teaching, and solo gigs in the next couple years. Hell, I'm just doing it for fun. I don't really have a desire to be at the top, I just want to have fun and enjoy playing clarinet. Or maybe that's just what I tell myself so that I don't feel totally intimidated when I walk into rehearsal. ;-)

Wish us luck on our move. Next time you see me, I'll be writing from another IP address!

UNT Setting Records

You know how some college football teams set records for winning games, or winning them in certain ways?

University of North Texas is not one of those teams. We set records for how badly we lose:

Sooners wide receiver Malcolm Kelly caught two touchdowns in the game, both in the second quarter. His first was a 65-yard reception,his longest catch of the day. His second touchdown grab came at the end of the first half, giving OU a 49-0 halftime lead. The 49 points is the largest halftime deficit for the Mean Green in the modern era. Texas scored 44 first-half points against the Mean Green in the 2004 season opener.

Thanks Gloria, for the tip. I didn't even know there was a game last night.

101 degrees

It's heating up here in Texas and it doesn't look to cool down for a while. I'm sure there are many other significant things on my mind that I could be talking about instead, but there you have it. I'm not riding my bike to work this week because last week I rode it while it was 96 degrees and 60% humidity (103 heat index) and I felt dizzy for a good 1/2 hour after I got home. And mind you, it was only a 10 minute ride. A crazy woman came into Office Depot the other day and told me that riding your bike to work is in vogue. I definitely felt in vogue with sweat coming from places I didn't know I could sweat.

I'm sure I've told most of you by phone, but for those whom I haven't: Dawn got a job! Dawn has been looking for different jobs for the last couple of years, and finding this job took 3 full months. She'll be starting work as a Service Representative at the Social Security Administration office on the 20th. She'll be working about a block away from Office Depot, where I work. It is a full-time, permanent position with great benefits that she will probably get to keep for a while as she attends graduate school at night. We're transitioning from that period where we had free time but no money to having money and no free time. Yay!?

A year in Texas

Today marks one full year since we moved to Texas. It was a Monday morning that we moved in, and by 8:30 it was already 85 degrees f outside. We were quite shell-shocked with our new marriage, coming down off our honeymoon, and trying to navigate an unfamiliar city where we knew no one and felt as though we were in an alien country. We had no jobs and lived off of our wedding money and Target Gift Cards for months. Dawn was looking for work as a teacher and had no idea how impossible that would be and how she would end up a UNT Masters in Counseling Student instead.

I thought that I would never find a church that I'd enjoy or friends who would last. I also had no idea what it would take to get my teacher certification and finish my masters or how much it would cost. I thought I knew a lot about marriage and that I would be extremely good at it. I considered myself an open and honest person who always dealt with problems head-on. I just had no clue.

This was one of the hardest, most stressful years of my life so far, but it has also been a time of great change, healing, and getting to see God work in our hearts in many ways. I am very thankful to be with Dawn and I wouldn't be anywhere today if it weren't for her and her solid faith in Christ. I love you, Dawn.

Otherwise, we had lots of fun in San Antonio for our anniversary. All of the pictures posted are from that trip from two weekends ago. I finally made it further south in Texas than downtown Dallas! We stayed on the Riverwalk and got to have lots of great food, shopping, tour the Alamo, and go to Sea World, too. Now it's back to work last week and this week. My part-time job at Office Depot is a full time one for the next several weeks while our sales skyrocket from back to school shopping, so I'm finding myself as busy as ever. Time to go pick up the laundry. C'ya soon!

and I love Daily Show

Another video today. This time, it's another installment of the Alberto Gonzales Spanish Soap Opera. Pretty funny. Interesting note: this video expires on 8/26/07. Good to know.



I promise I won't get in the habit of posting videos everyday instead of sharing my thoughts with you, but this week was just too busy. I realize that there are some people who only post other people's stuff and never their own. I am not one of those jerks.

Well, we're leaving on vacation this afternoon to celebrate our first wedding anniversary, but I'll be back on Monday. Have a great weekend!

I love cats

when in doubt, post a video

I am quite busy with school, work, and my inventory for Celebrate Recovery, which has left me with little time for blogging. What's my solution? Post someone else's stuff!

This time, feel free to enjoy ABC's 20/20 on school choice. They make a very compelling argument for a voucher system which would allow parents to choose which school, public or private, they would like to enroll their student in using a voucher for their child issued by the government. I'm learning about this out of a chapter in the textbook, Critical Issues in Education: Dialogues and Dialectics by Jack Nelson.

The first video is the shorter (9:40) version of the 20/20 episode. The latter (40:45) it worth a watch, and doesn't include any commercials!





I hope to blog my opinions in more depth sometime later. What do you think about it?

For your entertainment

Here's what could happen if you talk on your cell phone during a classical music performance. . .

hot and humid

Good morning, reader. I have a few minutes before I have to head to class, so I thought I'd say hello.

Things are going well for me at the moment. I've biked to work the last two times and its been quite an experience. It was raining every single day for the last several weeks here in Texas and now that that pattern has been broken, I feel like I'm living in a jungle. I bike just 1.3 miles over there, and in ten minutes I might as well have been rained on. I sweat that much. While it's true, I am out of shape, the heat and humidity is killing me. I biked home yesterday when the heat index was 102 degrees. I feel so tough. Yarrr. I guess it's an efficient workout because I am burning the maximum calories for the minimum workout time. :-)

I am really happy to be getting exercise and to have a fuller schedule again because I have so much energy now. I get to be around people all day (which, as a staunch extrovert, is a really good thing) and the exercise gets me moving faster. I tend to have a much higher self-esteem when I feel useful, too.

What else. . . Oh yeah, I was able to spend some time on a video conference the other night with my family. They placed their camera on the dining room table so I felt like I was sitting in the room with them. That was fantastic, except that it made me miss them even more. Lord, let me move back to where my family is where I'm not swimming in humidity. Amen.

Otherwise I haven't been spending much time on my recovery lately, which is not good. We are supposed to start our Fearless Moral Inventory and I would like to be at the point where I am journaling much more than I am. I guess that's part of adjusting to a new class and a new job.

That's all thats on my mind this morning. Today my activities include going to class, moving a friend, and going to work. Later.

Music teacher

I'm taking a break from studying for an assignment for my online class.

I spent some time this afternoon processing with Dawn about what being a music teacher could be like. I often wonder:

• What kind of band director will I be?
  
• How will I treat the students?
• Will they think I'm funny?
  
• Will they think I am really uncool?
• Is it possible to have the kind of instrumental music program that I'm hoping for or will I lose my sense of idealism after a couple of years?
• Can I be a better band director than the one I had in high school?
• Am I going to have time for family and church activities, or will I end up working my butt off and get burned out?
• Will it take me a while to get over looking stupid in front of a crowd?
• Do I have the confidence that it takes to teach?
• Will this be a career that I stick with for decades or will I only last a couple of years? The odds are not in my favor.
• Am I organized enough to do this job or will I fumble my way through and pray that students get something out of it?

I guess mostly I'm wondering, "do I have what it takes?" I will never know until I give it a shot. Most of my friends who have been in band or know anything about music think that I would do a really great job, and I don't necessarily think they are wrong. I'm starting to become eager at the chance to get in front of a classroom and really put to work all of my ideas. I have no doubt that it is much harder than it looks and it will be a while before I'm comfortable in the role.
Here are my predictions so far:

• What kind of band director will I be? Probably a lot like my high school band director, Mr. Cruse (pictured right), but less hard-working and perfectionistic about some things. Hopefully, I'll live a more well-rounded life than he. Mr. Cruse didn't have a wife or family and often spent 60-80 hours working per week.

• How will I treat the students? I will probably treat them with lots of respect and will try never to yell, shame, or guilt them into cooperation. The worst I imagine being towards them is a little passive-aggressive and unclear about my intentions.

• Will they think I'm funny? Sometimes.

• Will they think I am really uncool? Yes, but maybe that won't matter.

• Is it possible to have the kind of instrumental music program that I'm hoping for or will I loose my sense of idealism after a couple of years? A. I'm sure its possible, but I might lose some of my idealism. But, hey, a guy's gotta have goals, yes?
  

• Can I be a better band director than the one I had in high school? I think so.
  

• Am I going to have time for family and church activities, or will I end up working my butt off and get burned out? I think both might happen sometime in my career. The danger is making teaching an idol in my life. We'll have to see about this one.
  

• Will it take me a while to get over looking stupid in front of a crowd? Most definitely, but its good for me.

• Do I have the confidence that it takes to teach? Yes, I have a great education and lots of support.
  

• Will this be a career that I stick with for decades or will I only last a couple of years? The odds are not in my favor. I think that if the organization and time factors don't overwhelm me in the first couple of years, than I can imagine sticking with it for a long time.
  

• Am I organized enough to do this job or will I fumble my way through and pray that students get something out of it? Not sure.
  

I know God's got things under control in this area. The prospect of being a teacher is becoming more and more real, however, so my need to trust him is also more real these days. Thanks for reading. Time to go back to working on my assignment.

A quick note

I've been busy working five days a week for the first time in a while, so I'm trying to get used to it. Sorry about the lack of blog posts. I'm afraid that as I get busier, the blog will be the first thing to suffer. I have a class starting on Monday that will take up my mornings, too. Feel free to encourage me to write, though! :-)

My only points of interest lately is that I recommend that you never go outside in Texas without bug spray. I now have something like thirty mosquito bites on my legs...so much so that I can barely sleep at night. Bad times. Secondly, Ron Paul has gotten my attention as one of the only presidential candidates who seems to have a worthwhile foreign policy, in my opinion. Check out the video.

Thats all for now! Gotta go to work.