Format and theme

Welcome to my new blog, root of my heart. I have read various online blogs for a few years now and have discovered that there are many options as to the material I could put in a weblog:

1. The Junkyard. This type is entirely personal. I would simply talk about my daily or weekly activities and any other random thoughts. In some ways, this would be an outlet for all of the junk my brain can't deal with on the inside. Some of it would be stream of consciousness babbling, but most would be negative and almost always centered on me.
2. The Academic Journal. This is the opposite of The Junkyard. Here, I would probably do research and write essays on various aspects of life. I would make philosophical arguments here based purely on logic and evidence and challenge my friends to a duel of rhetoric. This kind could be fun, however entirely impersonal.
   
3. The Themed-Blog. This kind of journal contains some personal and some academic prowess, but the topics would be centered around a theme or idea.

My weblog is of this third kind. A few weeks ago God convinced me to start this blog when I had the time and attention span. Thank God, now I have both.

Recently, I've discovered that I tend to live in two basic states. Either I live in my heart or out of it.

When I live in my heart, I feel alive in Christ and my heart is soft. In this state I care about and experience God, the world, relationships, growth, love, deep thought, and the Fruits of the Spirit. I am moved to live in my heart by my parents, my close friends, musical worship times, and significant absences of degrading sin to which I am addicted.

When I live out of my heart, I tend to be fairly numb and the colors of my reality fade to shades of black. In this state, my heart is hard and does not experience or care for the above mentioned items. The things which draw me out of my heart tend to be computer games, an unbalanced schedule (too busy or too idle), distraction, laziness, selfishness, and various addictive sins of the flesh. Playing computer games and indulging sins of the flesh are active choices that I make to avoid living in my heart. I will definitely get to that later, I promise.

I intend to keep with my theme of living in my heart in every post on this journal, if possible. When I get these thoughts and words outside of me, they affect me. They hold me accountable. This is due to the mixture of a personal and academic format. On one hand, I will read my Bible and other books about the heart and be inspired to write about their philosophies, but on the other hand I will share some of my struggles and apply these philosophies to my personal experience. I hope to avoid becoming an "emotional exhibitionist," meaning someone with a compulsive desire to expose deep feelings indiscriminately (thanks Mom). This might be hard for me.

This weblog is not just for God and I - it's also for you. I hope that my posts aren't too long or wordy for you to be encouraged by my thoughts and my story. I would love to hear your ideas, experiences, encouragement, or constuctive criticism. I am a verbal processor, so this would be especially meaningful to me.

If I am living in my heart, you will see regular postings here. I have not often been living in my heart recently and I have a problem with discipline. Pray that I will get the time and wholeness necessary to write. Again, welcome.